Book Review: Born to Love
Let me begin by saying I am no expert in the subject matter of this small volume, titled Born to Love: Gay-Lesbian Identity, Relationships, and Marriage-Homosexuality, the Bible, and the Battle for Chaste Love.
I read the book from the perspective of a homeschooling Christian mother of seven children, who is all too aware of the world that will confront her children once they venture forth from the family home.
Born to Love comes with some heavy-duty recommendations: an imprimatur and an enthusiastic foreword by none other than Fr. Benedict J. Groeschel, C.F.R.
Interestingly, just a few days before writing this review, I came across an article related to this topic in the most recent issue of Homiletic and Pastoral Review, the superb mainstay Catholic periodical edited by Fr. Kenneth Baker, S.J.. The article was written by Fr. John Harvey, O.S.F.S., the founder of Courage, and it tells about the person and work of its author. I read about how Fr. Harvey spent most of his life helping homosexually-oriented people to find love and God-given freedom through his incessant work with Courage, a group that advocates a live of virtue and holiness for all persons in all states of life.
What impressed me about Born to Love is its accessibility. The language is simple, to-the-point—no long scholarly essays here. Surely there is a need for those, but this book is meant to be user-friendly: easy to read, uncomplicated points made.
The first part of the book features a robust introduction by author John R. Waiss where he presents the subject matter as an urgent issue, distorted by the media and the secular institutions of today, needing to be addressed in truth and love.
Homosexuality and same-sex attraction run to the emotional core of the human person. That is why it is so hard to transcend the emotional order to speak rationally on the subject. Yet there is something that runs even deeper than this: a desire to love and be loved — so often confused with sex.
Quoting John Paul II, the author stresses that the subject is really about the nature of true love, and even beyond that, it is about the true nature of the self-love:
I find Pope John Paul II’s personalism a powerful and effective tool for understanding homosexuality and as a clear guide for those who want to take control of shaping their own identity: their sense of who they are in relationship with God, others, and the world.
The introduction reflects the author’s compassion and understanding, as well as his belief that most persons dealing with homosexual inclinations want to live a moral, virtuous life. Furthermore, Waiss states that most such people are indeed living a full Christian, holy life, and “From the witness of their noble lives, others will be won over.” To me, that is a beautiful phrase, full of Faith, Hope and Love.
The bulk of the book’s content is in the form of a dialogue between a fictional priest, created in the image of Pope John Paul II, and his friends. These characters first appeared in a previous book by Fr. Waiss entitled Couples in Love: Straight Talk on Dating, Respect, Commitment, Marriage, and Sexuality. The couple from the previous book, Sam, a secular Jew, and Margie, a Catholic woman, is reintroduced to readers beforehand. In this story, Sam brings an old friend from high school who is living a gay lifestyle to meet Fr. JP, and the two agree on engaging in frank dialogue. The stage is set for the conversation to ensue!
The pages of dialogue are subdivided into the different themes tackled, ranging from biblical references and issues of civil rights to the psychological factors and theological matters involved. Through the dialogue, which is written very much in convincing colloquial language, the protagonist’s sincerity comes to surface, as does his desire to understand the teachings of the Church and to live a life of goodness and service.
The book is impressively well-documented with several pages of endnotes, references, and lists of resources for parents and educators. There are eight pages of endnotes alone, and more than a dozen pages listing what looks like a very comprehensive bibliography for anyone needing or desiring to read further on this complex issue.
Would I change anything? Well, the postscript tells us what happened to the characters in the dialogues “afterwards”… we learn Jeremy is on the right path, but I, forever the optimist, would love to see the two young women also finding God-freeing wisdom. Alas, not every book has a happy-ending, and I must credit the author for sticking with a more realistic tone.
Born to Love: Gay-Lesbian Identity, Relationships, and Marriage-Homosexuality, the Bible, and the Battle for Chaste Love may be very helpful to homosexually-oriented persons seeking guidance and to people who are in the position to help such persons. My prayers go to the author and to all who might benefit from the truthful, friendly and God-freeing words of Born to Love.
—Ana Braga-Henebry has a Masters Degree in Humanities from the University of Texas at Dallas. She has written myriad articles for Catholic homeschool periodicals, has been writing book reviews for over ten years, and blogs from the family acreage in South Dakota.