Is Jesus in Charge of Your Marriage?

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Marriage can often be a struggle for control where both husband and wife often fight for control over decisions, situations and rules. But until both man and woman in a marriage find that there can be no other person in control of the relationship except Christ, they won’t find the fullness of God’s plan for the relationship.

If you’ve been married for quite a while, you will know that it’s not always a walk in the park. While there will be good days and there will be wonderful days, there will also be days that will be darker than usual. The times we need to get bills paid and finances are just drained, when fidelity is put on the spot, when cultures clash and when priorities are challenged, those days we will find that we cannot face marriage and our spouses alone.

But, truth be told, we were never meant to. A marriage is a cord of three strands, not two. It’s not a binary hierarchy where one sits on top of the other, but a triangle with One Master on top and two edges at the bottom. That top is where Jesus should be placed in a relationship.

But sometimes, we place another master on the top of this pyramid called marriage. Sometimes we replace God with money and make decisions based on that. Other times we put convenience, pleasure, the opinions of others or sometimes even ourselves. Whatever we place on the top, if Jesus is not there, marriage will always be a burden.

Jesus is the foundation upon which everything is built – the world, the church, our lives, even our marriages. There is no foundation more firm and no cornerstone more sure than our Lord Jesus. Referring to Christ, Colossians 1:17 declares, “And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.”

That’s why 1 Corinthians 11:3 says, “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.” The husband and wife may have roles to play. God ordained the man to be the loving servant-leader while the woman is to be a helper (yet one of equal stature). And as we fill those roles, Jesus has a role too. He is to be the head of the relationship, the shot caller and the game changer in every area of our life including our marriage.

When we place Jesus as Lord over our marriages, we open ourselves up to God’s promises, God’s will and God’s power to flow through us as He uses us for His glory and provides us not just with purpose, but with everything we need to live this life and fulfill our calling together.

By Patrick Mabilog